What is a Zenwatt?

A Zenwatt is that amount of energy produced when a fish ejaculates. Ten Zenwatts are produced by each fish each ejaculation. One Zenwatt is enough energy to power two McDonalds restaurants, three massage parlours and one pocket calculator for two days. Scientists from around the world are working on ways to harness this amazing natural energy.

A fish that produces Zenwatts in a viable amount is very rare. The last reported sighting of such a co-operative fish was in the late 11th century B.C.

It is only because some radically thinking people wrote the necessary information down on animal skins and left these writings and some of the fish inside earthen jars and sealed them inside caves just before they all got covered up by extremely hot lava, that we have this knowledge.

There has been a rumour that a group of flagrant artists in the rainbow region have one of these co-operative fish and are using it for their own benefit.

If you see one of these fish (small with vertical orange stripes), please contact your local emergency service. Don't touch it!

A Zenwatt fish in the wrong hands could mean the end of civilisation as we know it today.